Like ocean tides, life is a series of comings and goings. From friends to family, interests and hobbies. We go from liking something one day to never seeing it again. It is all part of how we change and grow as humans. We find ourselves vastly different from the person we were a year ago, five years ago or even ten years ago. Experiences change us, friends affect how we view things in life, our hobbies can give us different outlooks on aspects in our lives.
These changes don’t happen instantly, nor do they take years. Slowly over time we change our perspective, we mature, grow, evolve. How we view the people and world around us can change, either by ourselves changing or others changing around us. This is how friendships can grow and how they can fade.
Connections we have with people in a virtual world are very fragile. They can easily break after mere moments or slowly grow to something even stronger than you’d thought. I have had many friendships over my 9 years in Second Life. I can’t recall names or faces of those who I first met. That was the most volatile time of my Second Life. I have only one person from those years that I periodically talk to, though the friendship has faded to a dim.
After the years of people coming in and out of my life quickly, I have learned that some people are just not worth keeping around. The friendships are empty and meaningless. Conversations we have are not fulfilling. I have no shame in saying a lot of friends I have are people I have only slept with once or twice long ago, and I haven’t had the time or care to remove them. Sometimes it does get to me, and makes me feel used when sometimes people only want a fuck.
Over the years I have grown to realize that yes, sex is a major part of SL to some, but for me it isn’t the case. I no longer just fuck random people. I spend most of my days at my workshop, building my mesh, stripping at Pornication or hosting as I have done for years. Random hook ups just don’t do it for me anymore, even if it is with someone that I have been with many times before. If there are no feelings there then I see no point or excitement in doing it.
Like the ebb and flow of the tides, I too have gone through my phases. I have changed for the better. I no longer see myself as someone that is just in SL for the pleasure of getting off. I view it as a tool to meet new people, make new friends and expand my knowledge of the world. I have friends spanning from LA to Sydney to Europe. Sometimes these people come and go in my life, other stick around. I have a few close friends that know me. A lot of others that just know what is on the surface. Those close friends are the ones that stick with me over the years, that I never lose trust in and who I care for deeply. The ones that only see my avatar and not the person behind it are not worth the time to call a friend.
It is changes in our life that build who we are. The way we deal with the ebb and flow of the tides of life shapes the person we are today.