Tides

beach-1168092_1280.jpgLike ocean tides, life is a series of comings and goings. From friends to family, interests and hobbies. We go from liking something one day to never seeing it again. It is all part of how we change and grow as humans. We find ourselves vastly different from the person we were a year ago, five years ago or even ten years ago. Experiences change us, friends affect how we view things in life, our hobbies can give us different outlooks on aspects in our lives.

These changes don’t happen instantly, nor do they take years. Slowly over time we change our perspective, we mature, grow, evolve. How we view the people and world around us can change, either by ourselves changing or others changing around us. This is how friendships can grow and how they can fade.

Connections we have with people in a virtual world are very fragile. They can easily break after mere moments or slowly grow to something even stronger than you’d thought. I have had many friendships over my 9 years in Second Life. I can’t recall names or faces of those who I first met. That was the most volatile time of my Second Life. I have only one person from those years that I periodically talk to, though the friendship has faded to a dim.

After the years of people coming in and out of my life quickly, I have learned that some people are just not worth keeping around. The friendships are empty and meaningless. Conversations we have are not fulfilling. I have no shame in saying a lot of friends I have are people I have only slept with once or twice long ago, and I haven’t had the time or care to remove them. Sometimes it does get to me, and makes me feel used when sometimes people only want a fuck.

Over the years I have grown to realize that yes, sex is a major part of SL to some, but for me it isn’t the case. I no longer just fuck random people. I spend most of my days at my workshop, building my mesh, stripping at Pornication or hosting as I have done for years. Random hook ups just don’t do it for me anymore, even if it is with someone that I have been with many times before. If there are no feelings there then I see no point or excitement in doing it.

Like the ebb and flow of the tides, I too have gone through my phases. I have changed for the better. I no longer see myself as someone that is just in SL for the pleasure of getting off. I view it as a tool to meet new people, make new friends and expand my knowledge of the world. I have friends spanning from LA to Sydney to Europe. Sometimes these people come and go in my life, other stick around. I have a few close friends that know me. A lot of others that just know what is on the surface. Those close friends are the ones that stick with me over the years, that I never lose trust in and who I care for deeply. The ones that only see my avatar and not the person behind it are not worth the time to call a friend.

It is changes in our life that build who we are. The way we deal with the ebb and flow of the tides of life shapes the person we are today.

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Forever

Forever
Model: Shawny Galaga

Friends are something that you have in your life. There are always times when you may think that friendships never end, but that isn’t always in your control. You may feel strain and fight and the friendship might end. I have had this happen a few times in my Second Life, and even in my Real Life.

Sometimes you think that your time with a person is over. Friends, lovers, family can all leave your life. In Second Life this is even more true. You may find yourself one day with no friends left due to them leaving, or you might be the one who is leaving those friends. It is just one of the many cycles of life. The reasons for leaving SL or ending a friendship are various, from having a huge blow out to agreeing that things are not working. But, sometimes you can be surprised, and someone who you thought would never be back in your life suddenly pops up again, and becomes part of your life again.

I have had this happen a few times over my time in Second Life. I have had fights with a few friends, and after a time of cooling down, from a few days to over a couple years, we’ve made up and either became friends, or at least talk a bit. Recently I had a friend come back into my life that I had not spoken to in over a year, who I thought was gone from my life forever. But when it comes to some things, forever doesn’t last. We had an interesting first chat, made up, and now have become great friends again.

This also has led me to a wonderful new group of people, who I have had some amazing fun with. That night that my friend and I made up, I thought to not mend anything at all. that would have deprived me of some fun times the past couple of weeks, and I wouldn’t have made new friends. Forever came to an end, and it was worth the few awkward minutes of conversation.

If you write off every person you argue with or fight with, then you may lose out on some fun times with new friends. I am not advocating getting back with exes, but some lost friends are worth reuniting with.

Publicity

PublicitySince the new millennium began society has been in a social decline. No matter how you phrase it, people are becoming more attached to their cell phones or computers and less attached to real people. Everyone has a Facebook or a Twitter or whatever, and people spend a lot of time during their day on it. They look at words on a screen than listening to others.

Go out to a restaurant 20 years ago and it is filled with conversations, people chatting about their day, or watching and talking about whatever might be on a television at the bar. Now you go, and it seems that people have lost desire to talk to the people in front of them, choosing instead to be antisocial and look at Facebook, or post pictures of food on Instagram. There is still chatter, but the noise levels sure have dropped.

This also leads to other problems, relationships. Ever since the advent of text messages, breaking up and ending relationships has become less personal. All you need to do is type “We’re done” and press send and that is it. It makes the person on the receiving end feel more like shit, because it is an uncaring way to end a relationship. The same can be done with friendships. You can have a huge fight all through text without ever looking that friend in the eye, without ever hearing their voice. It makes it easy, but also it can hurt a lot more.

This doesn’t help any in Second Life. There are only really two options in SL, text or voice. A majority of people stick just to text. It can make ending relationships just as easy as starting them. I feel that is one reason SL relationships are like supernovas. They explode in a raging fury, but burn out just as fast, with dust and debris left in the wake. Voice can make it more personal, allowing people to connect in a way that text won’t allow. You can hear the passion in a voice, and inflections, the emotion. Text has a way of diluting that, making it bland and uncaring.

People also have a way of making these relationships public more easily. You have Facebook to update relationship statuses on. You can post to twitter about being so in love, then you end the relationship in the same way, sometimes without the other person even knowing it was over. I have a good friend that went through this recently. He was on a break from his BF, but woke to one day find a status from his BF saying the relationship was basically over with. To me that is a cowards way out of a relationship. It is very impersonal, making my friend feel like shit because he thought things were going to be worked out. Though int he end it is for the best. being with someone who posts to Facebook about breaking up isn’t someone you would want to be with.

Society needs to be more social with one another, and less so with their devices and their social media. I find it ironic that it is called Social media, because it is far from being social.